45 Amazon Deliveries

For months, the packages arrived as expected at 45 H******field Dr.

Kleenex, composting bags, Silverati shampoo, biodegradable laundry detergent, mousetraps, weatherstripping caulk, AAA batteries, motion-detecting night lights, Zevo Bugcatchers

Then they stopped.

Amazon confirmed the deliveries. But the confirmation photos are not my house.

I walk the town streets and look for addresses with #45 on their porch or mailbox. 45 Shore St., 45 Depot Ave., 45 Green Pond Rd., 45 Two Ponds Rd., 45 Beebe Acres Rd., 45 Elm St. My phone shows 3,000, 5,000, 10,000, 12,000 steps.

None of these #45 addresses match the Amazon delivery photo.

Packages for another #45 address land on my porch. Like a good neighbor, I deliver them and meet new people. We express our love for this Cape Cod town and commiserate that we have to rely on Amazon, especially in the summer when the town’s population triples and getting to Hyannis or over the Bourne Bridge to buy supplies is impossible. Well, possible if you want to spend all day.

In July, I switched to Target for an online order. That package also gets lost. I follow the tracking data every morning: Aurora, CO, to Providence, RI, to Columbus, OH, to Springfield, MA, to  Sacramento, CA, to Wareham, MA and back again to Springfield, MA, to Providence, RI.

Target issues a refund, and my package continues its summer cross-country trip. Will it ever stop moving? Will the packing tape come apart and splay its contents in the back of a delivery truck? Will a delivery person take pity on the worn, saggy package and leave it at a homeless shelter? Or will the package just get tossed in a dumpster?

Meanwhile, a large package addressed to me and my #45 address arrives unexpectedly. I did not order this from Amazon. I have not ordered from Amazon since the start of the season of disappearing packages. This mystery box contains things I’d never buy: denture cleaning tablets, 24 bottles of Boost protein shakes, and Depends.

Is someone sending me a warning? Is this to deter my activism? Is Amazon so tired of me reporting lost packages and demanding refunds that they want to play with my head?  Or am I being introduced to the latest scam called brushing? (Third-party sellers buy products and send them to Amazon customer addresses, which creates the illusion of a legitimate order. The third-party seller can then write a positive review of their own products. But Depends? Boost protein shakes? )

This year has been a year of rest and recovery, of luxuriating in simply being. No deaths. No crises. No deadlines. No moves. No commitments.

Some days the packages feel like evil messengers, other days they seem like simple tests to make sure I am surrendering control and kicking anxiety on its sneaky little ass. “This is a test of your emergency anxiety system.  It is only a test. In the event of an emergency, remember you can handle anything. This is only a test.”

The summer people left our town in September, and we all exhaled at the quiet, the empty beaches, and the ability to find a parking spot in town easily.  I love my little #45 place here so much, and I love the relaxed me just as much.

Another thing that happened in late September, as I was exhaling: the Target package completed its three-month cross-country journey. Everything was intact.